Do you see that? ^^^^^

I just sent in an application to a very prestigious playwrighting festival. I’m not going to lie, my heart was pounding a little bit as I pushed the submit button. But you know what?

IT FEELS SO GOOD.

One thing that I’ve been working on this year is doing scary things. I have big dreams about what I want to accomplish with my work and my stories. Dreams that, I think, are absolutely achievable. And worthy. But, in order to happen, they require that I do some scary things.

I have always been someone who’s been a little too worried about what other people think. Will they like me? Will they like my work? But I’ve come to realize, it doesn’t really matter. As long as I am doing what I am passionate about, being honest about what interests me, and creating stories that I find worthwhile, I will find the people who I’m meant to connect with. It’s just like Austin Kleon says in his book, Show Your Work:

Being open and honest about what you like is the best way to connect with people who like those things, too.

Austin Kleon

All this gets back to doing scary things. When I care less about what people think, the more willing I am to take a risk.

Take the application I put in today, for instance. These are important people. People I’ve worked with outside of my playwrighting capacity. They have a lot of clout in my field. The anxiety that trembled in my stomach as I hovered over the submit button had a lot to do with “What will they think?” “Will they like it?” “Will they think it’s stupid?” “Will they think I’m a terrible writer?” “What if they all laugh behind my back about how awful it is?”

These thought get me nowhere. All they do is keep me from submitting. For reaching for my dream. For potentially opening a door.

Not everyone is going to like my work. I’ve had to do some serious mental work to be ok with that. And there are definitely times that are harder than others. But today? I’m just excited. I did a scary thing. I have taken what control I have over my own destiny. And I am excited to see the miracles that happen.